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The Daily Cloud: Oracle caves on cloud computing

After two years, Oracle has accepted the term cloud computing. To the surprise of no one, however, the company is redefining the oft-defined term to suit its own needs.

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Oracle caves, finally calls everything cloud
In a stunning reversal, software firm and now SPARC-provider Oracle announced today that it has bowed to two years of relentless hype and will finally use the term cloud computing for its business products. The firm said in a press conference that Oracle was redefining the popular neologism to mean everything Oracle already did for systems management plus Sun's grid and virtualization technologies. Edward Screven, chief of important things, also said that Oracle would make an online version of Sun's OpenOffice called Oracle Cloud Office.

Oracle's position heretofore was that cloud computing is utter nonsense. Now that it has completed its acquisition of Sun and Sun's virtualization and cloud initiatives, though, it claims that as of Wednesday afternoon, "Oracle provides [the] most complete, open and integrated cloud offering" ever seen for public and private clouds alike.

CEO Larry Ellison is reportedly seeking treatment for nervous exhaustion in a facility that outsources nothing.

Lighthouse Security Group draws even more attention to cloud security
Lighthouse Security Group has launched a new website,, drawing even more attention to cloud-based Identity and Access Management (IAM) issues. A Lighthouse Gateway spokesman said: "Hey, we believe in letting customers know just how vulnerable they are in the cloud."

The company says its service offers all the benefits of a complete IAM infrastructure without users having all that worry and cost and burden of purchasing, deploying and maintaining an on-premise infrastructure. Who needs that!?

Lawyer condemns phone system to the cloud
Jason A. Smith, Attorney at Law, acted as judge, jury and apparently IT administrator when selecting a phone system for his law firm. The attorney found other systems guilty by reason of outdated technology and high costs until he chose cloud-based, hosted business phone system, RingCentral. After extensive cross-examination of its competitors, Smith selected RingCentral Office for its communication management capabilities and ease of expansion.

"The elasticity of my phone system is simply amazing," he said. The verdict: with RingCentral, Smith is able to scale his business with ease, AND has substantially cut his monthly phone bills. "My Verizon bill is down to $17,023 a month!"

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